Joined: 28-08-2007
Comments:
City (Mon-Fri) Wheatbelt (Sat-Sun)
Posted: ages ago
<h1>The Reasons why Beer is Better than Women<br /></h1><p>1. You can enjoy a car all month.<br />2. You don't have to wine and dine a car.<br />3. Your beer will always wait patiently for you outside the strippers. :P<br />4. A car doesn't get jealous when you touch another car.<br />5. A car never has a headache.<br />6. A car won't get upset if you come home in another car.<br />7. You can pilot more than one car a night and not feel guilty.<br />8. You can share a car with your friends.</p><p>9. A car is easier to get wet. :P<br />10. A car doesn't demand equality.<br />11. A car doesn't care when you come.</p><p>12. You don't have to wash a car before it looks good.<br />13. Cars comes in multiples of 4's, 6's or 8's.<br />14. A car doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left.<br />15. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a decent car.<br /><br />16. When your car is gone, you just get another.<br />17. Cars look the same in the morning.<br />18. Cars dont look you up in a month.<br />19. Cars dont worry about someone walking in.<br />20. Cars dont worry about waking the kids.<br />21. Cars dont get cramps.<br />22. Cars dont have a mother.<br />23. Cars dont have morals.<br />24. Cars dont go crazy once a month.<br />25. Cars listen and dont argue.<br />26. Car labels don't go out of style every year.</p><p>27. Cars dont have cold hands/feet.<br />28. Cars dont demand legality.</p><p>29. If you change cars, you don't have to pay child support.<br />30. Cars won't run off with your credit cards.<br />31. Cars dont have a lawyer.<br />32. Cars dont take up any closet space.<br />33. Cars can't give your herpes or other nasty things.<br />34. Cars dont complain about the way you drive.<br />35. Cars dont mind if you fart or belch.<br />36. Cars dont tease you or play hard to get.<br />37. Cars never ask you to change the station.<br />38. Cars dont make you go shopping.<br />39. Cars dont tell you to mow the grass.</p><p><br />40. Cars dont pout or play games.<br />41. Cars nearly always NEVER says no.<br />42. Cars are easy to get into.<br />43. Cars never complain when you take them somewhere.<br />44. Cars dont need to go to the 'powder room' with other cars.<br />45. Cars dont wear a bra.<br />46. Csrs dont mind getting dirty.<br />47. Cars dont complain about insensitivity.<br />48. Cars dont use up all your toilet paper.<br />49. Cars dont live with a mother.<br />50. Cars dont blow you off.<br />51. Cars dont care if you have no culture or manners.<br />52. Cars dont bitch, yell, or cry.<br />53. Cars dont mind football season.<br />54. A car won't make you go to church.<br />55. A car doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.<br />56. A car doesn't give a f*&k if you keep a bunch of other beers around.<br />57. If a car leaks in the garage, it smells kinda good for a while.<br />58. A car will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of "doberperson". <br />59. A car won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.<br />60. A car won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the<br />toilet seat up. </p><p>61. A car won't whine that seatbelts hurt.</p><p>62. A car won't argue that there's no difference between shooting<br />down an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean<br />airliner out of the sky. <br />63. A car is always ready to leave on time.<br />64. A car never fishes for compliments.<br />65. Some cars (e.g. Aston Martins) have fabulous curves.<br />66. A car won't raise any objections to an evening of watching<br />"John Holmes' Greatest Hits" on your VCR.</p><p>67. A car won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the<br />grocery store. <br />68. A car won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Penthouse<br />"just for the articles". (You *are* lying, but the car won't<br />accuse you of it). </p><p>69. A car won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that<br />tastes like Castrol Oil Treatment.<br />70. When you're through with a car, the thought of another car<br />doesn't make you ill.</p>